back in the states

I've been back in America for awhile now, but it's kind of overwhelming. I'm glad I went down to bumfuck, texas. It was relaxing. Just read, watched tv, went to the movies, and ate mexican food. It was fun to be with family and not to have to worry about anything. Now i just have to write my paper before I go back. 4,000 more words to go. I can do it.

I'm back in my hometown. It's funny, I keep my phone with me at all times in the uk but here, since so few people know i'm back, i don't care if it disappears or has no battery.

I highly recommend Enchanted if you haven't seen it and Alvin and the chipmunks. I only saw Alvin because my older sister wanted to, but it was surprisingly cute and not bad. It's actually terribly, painfully cute. Today I see Sweeny Todd, finally, and tomorrow is Juno. And this is what Christmas break is all about!

Traveling Sucks

Every time I fly back INTO the country I get major delays. The last three times I've had to spend the night in the Chicago Airport hotels because my connecting flights get so delayed that I miss the final one to Kansas City. I never have this problem flying through Dallas. Experience says, perhaps I should fly through Dallas from now on?

Yeah, maybe. Especially in the Winter season. Everything is delayed coming out of Chicago today, though the weather channel kept telling my mother the airports were clear. Liars.

So tonight, if lucky, I'll get home around 1 or 2 in the morning. If I'm unlucky, I'll spend a night in the Chicago Airport Hilton and get a flight out in the morning. Already booked the flight for tomorrow, though the woman said that I should remain optimistic and that perhaps my final flight will be so delayed that I can still make it.

I'm not in the kind of mood to hold out on that. I woke up at 3:30 AM today. Scottish time. It's now 6:54 PM Boston time. That makes it about midnight in Glasgow. Making me one fucking tired traveler that might not even get on her plane until 24 hours after she woke up.

Also, WHY did i have to get off the plane in Shannon just to go through US customs, get searched, and reboard? There must be a better way of doing this.

on a completely seperate note

I've recently discovered Kate Bush:

SNOW

Tonight it snowed. And not just little bits of snow. A proper big snowflake snow! Then it started to rain again, but for that one little bit it snowed! And I was out in it! and it was amazing!














It's hard to tell from these pictures, but it would have to be pretty fucking big raindrops to blur it that much. And the one on the left is my flatmate catching the GIANT flakes on her tongue. Now, of course, the streets are covered in slush, my cheeks are bright red from the cold, and my clothes are soaked, but DUDE!!!! It snowed!

ooo and great news

I sent an email to my professors on my program. I asked to discuss my PhD topic with them. I want to look at female porn viewers in a male dominated environment. Very very Laura Mulvey.

They liked it.

One simply wrote: "when can you see me?" then arranged a meeting (tomorrow/today) and recommended a book for me to read.

I'm excited.

Now I just have to get my first 5,000 word essay topic approved, make it through next semester, do a kick ass dissertation, and get my PhD approved! WOOOO.

Here comes Dr. Thrilla.

A big step though you might not think so.

The night of my stroke. I was watching the episodes of House I downloaded off of Itunes. I had been sick in bed for two days and decided for whatever reason I wanted to watch this show. So I was watching them as they downloaded. I got to this one episode: "One Day, One Room." I feel asleep, woke up, my left side was numb. I go to hospital, they send me home. I turn it on again, I fall asleep. I wake up. I'm spasming. Having a seizure. Let's just say that even though its been about two months, I just managed to watch House again only very recently (because fuck, if i paid for it i should watch it).

Anyway, tonight. I watched it. THE episode. And. I'm alive. No stroke. No seizure. though I still haven't gone to sleep (it's after 3), because I'm scared of waking up after watching House and having another stroke. But I will go to sleep soon.

It's just weird. I have little hang ups, but I'm slowly getting over them.

here's hoping to a good night's rest.

Tranny party tomorrow. Sure the pictures will be great.

Ruggers know how to party.

last night, a teammate had a house warming party. I brought the Australian staying with my Flatmate for a few days so we could teach him drinking games. Let's just say we rarely party with men, let alone straight men, so of course we have to get him naked and humiliated (he enjoyed it) as soon as possible. This was during a game of "the bitch" and right before we switched to "one leg up, on earlobe down."

Good banter!

Countdown begins

I'll be home in only a few weeks. Woo hoo. I went back to A&E (ER here) on tuesday cause i just wasn't feeling right. I think i'm just psycho somatic and paranoid because I felt fine almost as soon as I got in there. They kept me overnight, this time in the Acute Stroke Unit and sent me home the next after noon (after threatening to keep me there another night--okay not threatening but telling me i might have to). I didn't sleep at all that night because they didn't move me to the ward until about 5:30 AM and then they wake everyone up super early in the hospital.

Damn. I don't want to do taht again.

But i'm almost home and almost to NYC to see some awesome friends! can't wait.

down south

heading to manchester today! finally traveling some where other than dundee. gonna see christina. gonna be great!

hopefully awesome pictures to come!

[edit: didn't take one damn photo but had tons of fun]

Sunny and 43

It's actually a beautiful day. But i'm inside hacking up a lung, sneezing, sniffling, and overall feeling like shit. Luckily, I don't have any class or obligations today so I can just lie in bed and watch the beautiful (if a little too cold for my taste) weather outside.

At the rugby game in Dundee on Sunday no one told me it's always colder there and silly me only wore a sweatshirt to watch the game. It also decided to drop ten degrees during that day all around scotland so now... I'm sick. Though stupid me only wore the sweatshirt, smart me bought a Tescos men's sweatshirt when we stopped in tescos after the game to grab some food before heading back to Glasvegas. The tag said 18 GBP but I only spent 13 on the sweatshirt, a sandwhich and a diet coke. Now I have a really nice and warm grey sweatshirt that i might try turning into a badger costume. Score 1 for me!

It's a little depressing that my "travels" have only included Dundee and London, but that whole blood clot issue kind of took away all of october and now I'm far too lazy with far too little time left before I head home for Christmas (well actually texas for christmas and NYC for new years). Trying to get my life back to normal is actually kind of hard. Anxiety and paranoia over my health is affecting me mentally, but luckily i'm basically back to normal physically. I still get exhausted easier than before (and hiking up the hill is not fun right now when i'm congested and unable to breath normally), but I'm functioning nearly at normal.

Last night, I went to a pub quiz with some of the rugby girls at The Loft on Ashton Lane. We won. We kicked ass. It was to raise money for the sailing club and we kicked those sailing boys' asses. Well we didn't actually kick ass till about the 3 round when we realized we were some how ahead of everyone else. It did get close right before the final round when we were tied with the sailors, but we pulled through the true/false round (thanks to Jen knowing that america does indeed have drive through funeral homes--my contribution to that was: "well we have a lot of drive thru everythings so why not") and won. Our prize: 100 GBP bar tab (all in one sitting and before 30/11/07 but still!). That includes food and drink. Well split 7 ways... we'll get quite a bit of bang for our buck especially since my contribution will be drinking two really expensive glasses of champagne (2 units and Doctor approved).

FYI I did kick ass in the few american questions such as... which comes first in the year? The Superbowl, Kentucky Derby, and World Series. UH... DUH... but apparently people just don't know that here.

Anyway, I'm off to go back to bed and drink more chesty cough in hope that I'll be over this cold. i did see the doctor it is in fact a cold, not a sinus infection or bronchitis, and no i won't die from it--though that was my fear earlier which proves i'm paranoid about every little sniffle and cough post stroke. grrrrreat.

PS this spring i'm applying for my PHD here. Wish me luck!

The hat!

Modeled by my flat mate.

The Polo

I have now spent two nights this week at this excellent gay club pulling gay men. Its actually fun being the sober one on these nights out with the team. Mainly cause im the only one who remembers it. This is a friend in the cowboy hat i bought for three pounds outside the bar/club. I then traded it for a pink one with a tiara on it. Amazing! Picture of said hat to follow soon.

There were also a lot of men in kilts at the club tonight. I didn't ask them for my poll, but it's damn brave to come in full scottish regalia to a club and dance. Not to mention is must be freakin' hot with the jackets, the shirts, the socks, and the kilt. Still. My friends and I were discussing it and kilts just make any man more attractive. It doesn't do wonders but mmm mmm mmm!

Guy fawkes day

This is the remains of the rather large bon fire by the old church on my street. Plus they have more fire works here the the states do on the fourth. of course it's the neds, or the chavs, who are setting them off and it might be that i'm in a highly residential area of a good size city and not in the spacious 'burbs of kansas that makes it seem like there's more fireworks than in kansas (and we do have some big ones). I guess if I took the hometown, corporate woods, and lake shows and put them much closer together it might be similar. who knows. but they've been blowing shit up in my street for days now (before and after--monday was the holiday btw). Seeing smoke outside your 4th floor window is a little disconcerning. But speaking of fires. the alarm in the building went off as soon as i stepped out of the shower. I was not amused, but luckily it was silenced within 30 seconds and i didn't have to run outside in the cold.

I love this team

Tho it really sucks that i cant play, this group of girls make it a bit better. This was at practice . Playing the vets who have a game soon. Any way another belated post is coming up now that this is working again.

silly note

its kind of funny to look at the posts pre hospital and post hospital. i'll have to start finding more men in kilts to cheer this blog up.

they say everything changes

It's been nearly three weeks since my stroke and last week was my first week back in class and only the second week i've been to since it started at the end of September. Let me discuss last tuesday. let me discuss how i now hate tuesdays in general. not only was i rushed to the ER twice on a tuesday, but last tuesday may have been one of most not so good days i've had in awhile (aside from the tuesday two weeks before that). I met up with my friend Lilly for lunch at the Subway in the GU--that part was okay aside from the fact that i'm exhausted all the time and the littlest things tire me. I learned later not only is that a result of the stroke but of the blood thinners as well. Lucky me. So I get to class and i'm already tired (mind you, the uni is atop a hill very much like the one at Oxy so it's already a trek before you add the fact i'm still recovering) and my head hurts. I take a paracetemol and manage to get through the 90 minute class but I'm dreading the 20 minute walk back (downhill is the plus side). I stop back at the GU to pick up some highlighters and pens (since the pens i stole from hotels years ago). Head home, stop at the corner store for some basic groceries, realize i can't be arsed to cook and pick up a sandwhich get to my flat and realize i've lost my keys. Thus begins the frantic search of my bag, the take away place, my bag again, the corner store, and my bag a third time. I call my flat mate who lets me. I eat my sandwhich then empty out the contents of my bag completely then head out to retrace all my steps back to class. Well, the damn key is gone and being tired, not feeling well, and really annoyed i go back to my room and call it a day. Then I find information on strokes and blood clots and realize just how serious it was and that i could have died. Let the emotional break down begin.

so i ended up curled up in a ball crying on tuesday debating if i was going to stay or go.

since then things have been better (aside from the fact that the laundry room shuts off for an hour or two in the middle of the night and with the clocks changing last night i couldn't get my clothes out of the washer until this morning) and i think i'm going to stay.

Speaking of laundry: i miss what i called the magic drying rooms in sweden. It was a giant room with a hot air fan and clothes line. Brillant! You hang your clothes up and they dry so nicely and pretty quickly. The swedes might actually do everything better.

Thursday I may have stumbled on a dissertation topic involving fellini and ther american movie musical genre. I have bought a collection of his films (8 1/2, juliet of the spirits, la dolce vita, and another one i keep forgeting) to see if i can really do this topic. I also bought belle de jour, and the blue angel (blue angel being for class this week and highly reccomended by Lilly) and belle de jour because borders was having a special offer and i love catherine!

before i ended this rather long post, i would like to add that the scottish have a very different idea of a farmer than Americans. They involved lots of plaid hats like grandfathers or golfers wear, giant rain boots/wellies, and coveralls like mechanics would wear. Hello? what about cowboy boots and hats?

Change...

the whole sordid truth.

I was just released from the hospital so i feel like i should give you a full blown update.

what happened: after a migraine for two days i woke up to find my left side numb. My flatmate and i went to the hospital they said that it was probably viral menengitis, would give me some medicine/painkillers and forget about the lumbar puncture for now.

i went home and with in an hour woke up from my nap spasming and yelling for my flatmates to help. one called 999 the other tried to get me to respond. she said i was stiff unresponsive and my pupils were huge and i sounded like i was gagging/snoring while i was breathing.

paramedics came, they thought i was a) american and therefore stupid, b) a college student and therefore stupid, and c) i must have OD'ed on the "drugs" in my room (aka my zoloft for anxiety which if i was going to try to get fucked up i would have found something else to do it with mind you). So they try to do some tests on me at the hospital, move me from ward to ward until friday they move me to another hospital with a neurology ward and acute stroke unit. with in 12 hours of arriving they diagnosis that i had a blood clot near my brain, a stroke, and will be on blood thinners for 6-12 months.

what caused it: no specific reason but it could be a number of things. could be the concussion i had in the spring. a new head injury from rugby practice or the 10 minutes of the game i played when sick. dehydration. exhaustion the pill etc.

what does it mean: well i have to go off the pill but onto some other bc because i am forbidden from getting pregnant while on blood thinners. of course you know i really wanted to get pregnant right now. haha. no rugby for the whole duration im on blood thinners (could be a year). have to be careful about drinking--must be in moderation. have to be careful about banging my head, bruises, etc. i have to inject a form of rat posion into me to thin my blood, and yes i'm staying here and finishing my program. i don't back down this easy.

thanks to everyone who sent messages, emails, texts, and comments. it really meant a lot.

on a random note: cnn just had a story America Votes 2008: Guliani prepared for alien attack?" GOOD LORD!

also if you were reading runzoo959.blogspot.com it's not being directed here. so yeah.

kilt count 2-1: 1 abstained

I've taken to getting a count of how many of the scottish population are "true countrymen." True countrymen meaning they wear nothing under their kilts.

The count so far is 2 wore nothing (one being american though so i dont know if that really counts) 1 who said it was too chilly not to and 1 that wouldn't say. However, let me tell you men in kilts are quite attractive!

wee update

I spoke with Christina who told me her horror story.

When she arrived to her UK university her masters program had been cut and she and the other 4 had been relocated to another not as good program.

YIKES!!!

However I just received an email from the senior lecturer and there's only 4 more in my program so rock on.

the start...

I've officially been in scotland now for 3 days. It's quite a nice city, still adjusting. still don't understand everything the scottish say but I'm getting by. That includes the sneaking suspicion that my Master's program doesn't actually exist.

Since I came here earlier than originally expected much of the information about my progra was sent to the states after I arrived overseas, so yesterday I began the search for this information. I started in the international and postgraduate office and they sent me to the television, film, and theater department. I head down the hill to one end of the campus, but find the television/film/theater faculty don't know about my program. The woman i speak with sends me to the arts faculty and believes its actually in the french department. I arrive there, receive my information, sign up for an advising session, then realize that the advisor i was intrusted to sign up with is not the one the registrar assigned me. I contact the one assigned to me and she refuses to claim me so overall i'm feeling like i'm here on one big joke. However, I've paid for my room and i'll just drink wine (from "the wine cellar" across the street) until they drag me away and then i'll demand they put me in another pogram.

Later that day, I headed up for a "social" by the international office and society. Free drinks, free food, and scottish highland dances. Afterwards, I headed to "the wee bar" with two Americans doing their whole undergrad here and we met and "exchanged" numbers with a 50 or so old scotsman, former rugger, and expert on kansas city night life (no shit!). A very friendly guy who says he worked on some of IBM's biggest deals, may have lots of illegitimate children all through out America, and helped me with my coat as he muttered "let me undress you." overall a lovely combination of skeezy and charm.

Today, I spent a good 30-45 minutes today looking for the specific part of the registry that deals with fees and money, which is not the actual fees enquires in the west registry but in the normal enquires in the east registry. Yes, there are two. Let's add to this mess of making my loans go through and finding my advisor that although very picturesque the university is one of the oldest (apparently older than oxford or cambridge since they weren't real universities in the beinging but monastories that taught men) and its age is apparent witht he towers, the cloisters, and the robing room. This makes finding ANYTHING rather difficult since nothing is properly marked and most the doors are old and wooden with no handles.

That's about all i feel like writing today. perhaps there will be more, or perhaps not, i can be lazy, but if there's another one it'll probably be a long post complaining about a lack of skype and other fun things that have been blocked.