Yesterday, was one of those days. Where I stressed and disappointed and home sick all at once. I started out the day finishing up my PhD application and the application for the ORSAS funding which usually goes to science applicants rather than arts, or so I've been told by people other than my professor who encouraged me to apply--so who knows.
I applied online for the PhD but I needed to take the ORSAS application into the office, so I hurried off to the office around 2, dropped it off, then headed to the bus stop to hitch a ride to the hospital for my check up. Well, the bus only takes exact change so my 10 quid didn't really work and I ended up taking the subway to Govan and catching a bus there; which was waiting at the stop when I got there. PERFECT, right?
Well alls well until I realise the hospital has 3 bus stops with in it. I get off at the wrong one and desperately look around for the Neurology building which I haven't been to since I was released from the acute stroke ward. I go into one building to ask about it, they point me in the right direction, and I carry on. Then it starts to hail. I've never been caught outside in the hail but that fucking sucked. I've also dealt with strong winds in Kansas, but I was nearly knocked over with the sheer force of the wind making my face sting. I had my gloves on and was desperately pulling my hat down and my scarf up. I go into the Neurosurgery/neuro whatever the fuck building, but oh yeah, it's not the right one. So I have to run in the hail across the street to the right building. Get there, forget the name of the doctor I'm supposed to be seeing, finally figure out where I'm going, sit down, and shiver to death. Seriously, I was soaked to the bone and freezing. It didn't help that the doctor kept his windows open because his "mind works better when it's chilly." So, I shiver in my wet jeans as he tells me he won't see me again till May, then he'll scan my brain, but he wants to keep me on the blood thinners for close to a year.
Great, exactly the opposite of what I wanted to hear. I say fuck it to the bus and subway and call a cab, where I try to fight back the tears of frustration. Get let out on my street, grab some food (I've been living off cereal because I'm being cheap) and finally come in, undress, jump under the covers and cry.
I really really don't want to be on these blood thinners for a year. I was told it would be 6 months to a year, but now the doctor is basically saying it'll be a year or more... oh wait maybe 11 months. If i'm lucky I'll be off it by my birthday.
There's a part of me that wants to blame Scotland, to say "if I had never come here this never would have happened." But I know that's not true. It would have happened any where, the bright side is once again I don't have to pay so it's better in a way to have had it here. I'm still depressed about it though. Yesterday I just wanted to go home so bad. I wanted to curl up with my dog and cat under some blankets and call it quits for awhile.
I reached my breaking point, but there's not much I can do about it now. Already signed over the loans to pay for this semester, and I would probably end up miserable no matter where I went because I would still be dealing with this blood clot and daily reminders of nearly dying.
It'll get better, I was just really hoping that doctor's appointment would go better. That he would have scanned me yesterday and giving me only a few more months on it instead of 9. Oh well, I know, it's better to have a year of this rather than the rest of my life, but still. I just want it to be over.
Friday, 1 February 2008
Monday, 28 January 2008
Burns Night and other fun times in Glasvegas
The following is a rather lame post but I felt like I should write something, partially because I'm freaking out about this damn application and slept all day therefore up all night.
First, check up with the head docs on the 31st, cross your fingers that pesky blood clot is disappearing. My application for the PhD is also due that day so cross your fingers I got that figured out.
Now, January 25th was Burns Night. Robert Burns is the national poet and a BIG deal here in Scotland (he wrote Auld Lang Syne--the poem/lyrics not the music). On Burns Night everyone dresses to the nines and parties. There are ceilidhs, where men dress in kilts, there's highland dancing, bagpipes, and HAGGIS. Yes dear readers, I ate Haggis. My understanding is it's a mix of various parts of a sheep I don't want to think of, but includes the brains. Then it is spiced and cooked and actually not that bad. However, the really interesting thing about the Haggis is you must present it with a poem before serving. The arrival of the haggis is a MAJOR deal here, and obviously the poem is written by Burns.
The night before I went to a ceilidh held by the International and Postgraduate departments at the University. The traditional ceilidh band played songs and I relearned the Virginia Reel and Gay Gorden as well as many other traditional dances. Then a band of drums and bagpipes paraded around the hall and accompanied some highland dances. I have now decided I will join the highland dance club and learn them.
Saturday night, two friends and I hit the town, we discovered the red cabs feature loud music audible from blocks away and twinkling lights. Let's just say it's amazing. I have also found myself going to one club, Bamboo, multiple times this week for the hip hop and r&b they play on one of their dance floros. Let me tell you. I LOVE it. What I don't love are men who are about the height of my cleavage trying to hit on me. Now, I don't want to seem like a height bigot, and I realize this could be a man's wet dream, but if you don't even look above the cleavage while hitting on me it's gonna be a resounding no. Thanks for playing.
One of my "resolutions" for this semester is to discover more of Glasgow/Scotland. Hopefully, with the help of a few Badgers, I will hit up more clubs then Polo (the one gay club I've been to twice now), Bamboo (the hip hop/rnb club with slight sketchy men that I've been to twice), and the Hive (which I won't bother counting the times I've gone with the team). I will also try to do more cultural things, I did hit up the Kylie Minogue Fashion exhibit at the Kelvingrove Museum a couple of weeks ago, browsed a few of the rooms, and had lunch in its cafe yesterday (well priced and good) with a friend and bought some awesome postcards of amazing pictures. Let's just say "La mariage de convenance" is perhaps the greatest painting ever.
More to come once all these apps and supplements are in, and I promise to carry my camera with me, but unfortunately blogger won't let me add the few pictures I took so I'll just send some from my phone (how nifty!) and they'll be sideways and blurry but totally awesome. Also a belated post about London and the fun that goes on down there.
First, check up with the head docs on the 31st, cross your fingers that pesky blood clot is disappearing. My application for the PhD is also due that day so cross your fingers I got that figured out.
Now, January 25th was Burns Night. Robert Burns is the national poet and a BIG deal here in Scotland (he wrote Auld Lang Syne--the poem/lyrics not the music). On Burns Night everyone dresses to the nines and parties. There are ceilidhs, where men dress in kilts, there's highland dancing, bagpipes, and HAGGIS. Yes dear readers, I ate Haggis. My understanding is it's a mix of various parts of a sheep I don't want to think of, but includes the brains. Then it is spiced and cooked and actually not that bad. However, the really interesting thing about the Haggis is you must present it with a poem before serving. The arrival of the haggis is a MAJOR deal here, and obviously the poem is written by Burns.
The night before I went to a ceilidh held by the International and Postgraduate departments at the University. The traditional ceilidh band played songs and I relearned the Virginia Reel and Gay Gorden as well as many other traditional dances. Then a band of drums and bagpipes paraded around the hall and accompanied some highland dances. I have now decided I will join the highland dance club and learn them.
Saturday night, two friends and I hit the town, we discovered the red cabs feature loud music audible from blocks away and twinkling lights. Let's just say it's amazing. I have also found myself going to one club, Bamboo, multiple times this week for the hip hop and r&b they play on one of their dance floros. Let me tell you. I LOVE it. What I don't love are men who are about the height of my cleavage trying to hit on me. Now, I don't want to seem like a height bigot, and I realize this could be a man's wet dream, but if you don't even look above the cleavage while hitting on me it's gonna be a resounding no. Thanks for playing.
One of my "resolutions" for this semester is to discover more of Glasgow/Scotland. Hopefully, with the help of a few Badgers, I will hit up more clubs then Polo (the one gay club I've been to twice now), Bamboo (the hip hop/rnb club with slight sketchy men that I've been to twice), and the Hive (which I won't bother counting the times I've gone with the team). I will also try to do more cultural things, I did hit up the Kylie Minogue Fashion exhibit at the Kelvingrove Museum a couple of weeks ago, browsed a few of the rooms, and had lunch in its cafe yesterday (well priced and good) with a friend and bought some awesome postcards of amazing pictures. Let's just say "La mariage de convenance" is perhaps the greatest painting ever.
More to come once all these apps and supplements are in, and I promise to carry my camera with me, but unfortunately blogger won't let me add the few pictures I took so I'll just send some from my phone (how nifty!) and they'll be sideways and blurry but totally awesome. Also a belated post about London and the fun that goes on down there.
Sunday, 30 December 2007
back in the states
I've been back in America for awhile now, but it's kind of overwhelming. I'm glad I went down to bumfuck, texas. It was relaxing. Just read, watched tv, went to the movies, and ate mexican food. It was fun to be with family and not to have to worry about anything. Now i just have to write my paper before I go back. 4,000 more words to go. I can do it.
I'm back in my hometown. It's funny, I keep my phone with me at all times in the uk but here, since so few people know i'm back, i don't care if it disappears or has no battery.
I highly recommend Enchanted if you haven't seen it and Alvin and the chipmunks. I only saw Alvin because my older sister wanted to, but it was surprisingly cute and not bad. It's actually terribly, painfully cute. Today I see Sweeny Todd, finally, and tomorrow is Juno. And this is what Christmas break is all about!
I'm back in my hometown. It's funny, I keep my phone with me at all times in the uk but here, since so few people know i'm back, i don't care if it disappears or has no battery.
I highly recommend Enchanted if you haven't seen it and Alvin and the chipmunks. I only saw Alvin because my older sister wanted to, but it was surprisingly cute and not bad. It's actually terribly, painfully cute. Today I see Sweeny Todd, finally, and tomorrow is Juno. And this is what Christmas break is all about!
Monday, 17 December 2007
Traveling Sucks
Every time I fly back INTO the country I get major delays. The last three times I've had to spend the night in the Chicago Airport hotels because my connecting flights get so delayed that I miss the final one to Kansas City. I never have this problem flying through Dallas. Experience says, perhaps I should fly through Dallas from now on?
Yeah, maybe. Especially in the Winter season. Everything is delayed coming out of Chicago today, though the weather channel kept telling my mother the airports were clear. Liars.
So tonight, if lucky, I'll get home around 1 or 2 in the morning. If I'm unlucky, I'll spend a night in the Chicago Airport Hilton and get a flight out in the morning. Already booked the flight for tomorrow, though the woman said that I should remain optimistic and that perhaps my final flight will be so delayed that I can still make it.
I'm not in the kind of mood to hold out on that. I woke up at 3:30 AM today. Scottish time. It's now 6:54 PM Boston time. That makes it about midnight in Glasgow. Making me one fucking tired traveler that might not even get on her plane until 24 hours after she woke up.
Also, WHY did i have to get off the plane in Shannon just to go through US customs, get searched, and reboard? There must be a better way of doing this.
Yeah, maybe. Especially in the Winter season. Everything is delayed coming out of Chicago today, though the weather channel kept telling my mother the airports were clear. Liars.
So tonight, if lucky, I'll get home around 1 or 2 in the morning. If I'm unlucky, I'll spend a night in the Chicago Airport Hilton and get a flight out in the morning. Already booked the flight for tomorrow, though the woman said that I should remain optimistic and that perhaps my final flight will be so delayed that I can still make it.
I'm not in the kind of mood to hold out on that. I woke up at 3:30 AM today. Scottish time. It's now 6:54 PM Boston time. That makes it about midnight in Glasgow. Making me one fucking tired traveler that might not even get on her plane until 24 hours after she woke up.
Also, WHY did i have to get off the plane in Shannon just to go through US customs, get searched, and reboard? There must be a better way of doing this.
Saturday, 8 December 2007
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