"What do I get out of this?" or "orgy of spending"

I'm watching the debates right now and I have a few things to say...

1) BBC.co.uk shows the debates live but only in the UK, mydebates.org, a branch of myspace is showing all the debates as well.

2) "Orgy of spending" in reference to Bush's economics, which got us into the current cluster fuck, is perhaps my new favorite phrase. It might be up there with "You forgot Poland" and "The only Bush I trust is my own" for amazing political phrases. Though the Polish phrase is amazing because it's hilarious that he even said it, I think "orgy of spending" is a great description of the past 8 years or so and I just like that Obama said orgy in the debates.

3) What do I get out of all this? Honestly, I would love to hear both candidates sit down with a family from the lower/middle class and tell them EXACTLY what they would get out of both of their plans. They speak in ideas and abstracts, but I wonder what would happen if they set down with me and told me what would benefit me, a Grad student with no health care, no job (yay credit crunch), and loans my grandchildren will be paying.

4) McCain says "we're not going back to the cold war." To be honest, I'm not sure we ever really left it. Yeah, we didn't fear the Soviet Union would try to nuke us, but we've replaced that fear with terrorism. We are a nation of fear, it doesn't matter what the 'evil opposition' looks like it's still the same underneath it all.

5) You know, I've been joking about running whorehouses in order to raise money if there was ever another Great Depression... it's a bit disturbing that it might actually be a possibility.

Update

Lately, I've been trying to work on my dissertation and having some major issues with feeling like it'll never get done. But I know it will.

Of course one of the major distractions from this is the biggest and best news I've had in over a year... drum roll please!

no more blood clot!!!!

That's right kids, the CT scan came back and I'm in the clear. Sadly, most celebrating has been put on hold until the 15th.

Olympic Opening Ceremony

The Olympics start today and I've been watching the opening ceremony. Regardless of the human rights and international issues of the Olympics being in China, the opening ceremony is pretty damn cool. They've been doing short sample performances of various parts of Chinese culture. They had some puppets and Chinese opera music and what not. It's quite fascinating, but I have an issue with the "oh the Chinese are so precise... they're all about precision. They're so good at being precise" comments I'm getting from the BBC one commentators. Just comes across as one dimensional, slightly racist, and overall that they don't really much appreciation for Chinese traditional arts. From what I remember nearly every country does some mass precision performance at the opening or closing but whatever, it's apparently more fascinating when it's the Chinese.

On the other hand, the part where they progress through the various dynasties and "32 pillars reach towards the heavens" has hundreds of "serene women" walking along in these gorgeous gowns and I have to say I want one of those gowns. They're seriously amazing and beautiful. Full, floor length ball gowns basically, in pink and red and blue. Just gorgeous.

Some other highlights, 2,008 tai chi performers while children paint and recite poetry about nature (and the commentators point out how polluted China is), space men on wires fly around while a giant globe rises from the ground with people running around and doing acrobatics on wires "seemingly defying gravity," and Sarah Brightman with some guy (who's name I didn't catch) sing.

We've officially gone from being cool to being cheesy with Brightman singing while people hold giant pictures of various childrens' faces. All we need is Josh Groban to duet with Whitney Houston on "I believe the children are the future" and it would be the cheesiest Olympics ever.

Anyway, I think it's now about time for the marching and I'm losing interest. Judith Butler is calling. I'm outie, but everyone should check out the opening ceremony.

A Scottish 4th of July

The 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays. Primarily because it means drinking cocktails by the pool and chillin' with the fam. Well being as I'm spending this summer in Scotland, supposedly writing a dissertation, I had to do my own 4th of July celebration. A few friends came by my place, I had a barbecue, water guns, beer, and a near by park to help make this an awesome day.

Well, while it was fun and entertaining, there was one mishap that nearly ruined it.

In the park, my friends and I were sitting around, shooting pigeons with our water guns and overall just goofing around, when suddenly a few of us noticed a man grabbing his crotch near by. We assumed he was peeing at first, and though a bit odd that he didn't try to fake any modesty, seeing as it was 6 in the afternoon, still very bright, with a couple eating at a picnic table and a family playing ball near by, we didn't think too much of it. That is until he undid his belt, unzipped his pants and had a wank right there in the park! We reported him to a man who works in the park, but the guy had left by then. While quite humorous in some respects, the children near by kind of hindered the full comedic effect.

A bit disturbing but as I said, it would only happen to ME. Only when I try to celebrate an American holiday in Scotland does a man start masturbating in front of us. It truly is only "me" because after that we headed to another 4th of July party and while a cat did jump in through the window and refuse to leave, there were no flashers or perverts. Well unless you count my advertising for the Pirates II dvd release in September, there weren't any perverts.

Movies that fall short of the "expectations" surrounding them

I'm often over critical of films, especially those with a lot of hype around them. I also like to consider myself a feminist. For these reasons, I refuse to see Sex and the City: The Movie.

It's been the long awaited movie of the summer (thought my long awaited movie is Mamma Mia: The Movie Musical) and really, I could care less. I've never gotten into the show. I've tried. I really really have. When friends have wanted to watch it I've joined them. When there was nothing else on in the hotel except for reruns on HBO I watched it, I will admit, I even watched the first season on HBO in demand, so don't say I didn't try to get "into" the show. I put forth a lot of effort through the years.

However, I still don't like the show and I REALLY don't like the characters. From the get go I hated Charlotte. Her focus in life being predominately to get married and have children just made her boring and one dimensional. Supposedly, she's a successful at whatever she does at the art gallery (owns it maybe?), but really, I can't help but think of Mrs. Robinson from The Graduate, and not in the good way I like to think of her. At one point of the film, she's lying in bed talking to Benjamin (Dustin Hoffman) and he asks her what she studied at college. She studied Art History before she got knocked up and had a shot gun marriage. If I recall correctly, the young women in Mona Lisa Smile also study Art History, in their spare time when they are not getting married or waiting for a proposal. I'm sure there are other examples of this in many other films, but what does this equate to? Women who study Art History have few ambitions or alternatives other than the job of housewife and mother. I'm NOT saying this is true of present or past Art History students, but that at least in mainstream media a BA in Art History = BA in Housewifery. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make here is that Charlotte, like many of her hollywood fore-mothers, is of course only interested in marriage and babies to the point that it makes her a caricature, boring, and a cliche. Hence, why I never liked her to begin with. I realize she's supposed to be annoying and whiny, but what does it say about society when women go "oh i'm such a charlotte!" Really, is this the equality we've been looking for?

The one I hate only slightly less than Charlotte would be Carrie. I think she is the reason I never got into the show. You really should like the main character. Well, I don't. I find her neurosis annoying as well. I find her to be a more flamboyant package of Ally McBeal. She allows for this man to continuously love her and leave her. Even when he's married he still messes with her head. I realize that partly why so many women love this character is they too have an unattainable guy in their life that they just can't seem to get over. I mean, who hasn't? I know have, but I'm only 22. Most teenagers and women in their 20s do at some point, but I would hope that a woman nearly twice my age would be more sure of herself and have greater self esteem. Apparently not, apparently we never get over that one guy. But the thing is, must like in When Harry Met Sally, this isn't based in reality! You don't end up with your "Big," your "Big" ends up with someone else. Someone who isn't neurotic. Someone who does let me walk all over you emotionally. Sorry girls, but it's true. The real world does not function the same way High School or College romances do. I think this is why I really hate Carrie, perhaps even more than Charlotte who I try to just ignore, is that women can "identify" with her, but what does that say about us? That we are also neurotic women pining over men we can't have, allowing men to treat us like trash, and throwing away the stable, loving ones who just aren't as exciting. Well, that excitement is actually the fear and possibility that he will up and leave you for someone who isn't as neurotic or stupidly obsessed with him.

Moving right along. When I first watched it I enjoyed Samantha a lot. She was probably my favorite, maybe because I'm loud and don't care what people think. I'm definitely the one at the luncheon table who will shout "cock," "pussy," "fuck," et all and wonder why everyone else is blushing. I was always the "Samantha" in the group. But while some people find Samantha to be the "sexually liberated feminist" of the group, she's really not. Her character and story lines, like the other female characters, is based on, and dependent upon, men. She gets the laughs and outrageous moments, but only because of her constant craving for a "phallus" (should I get all freudian on you? I'll pass that for now). You will have to set aside the season where she was in a lesbian relationship, but when you think about it, it really follows a similar pattern as her sexual romps with men. However, the point is she is just as dependent upon men as Charlotte is for meaning, and Carrie is for neurosis.

Looking back on the show, the one character I truly like is Miranda. Perhaps she's the most realistic of them all. Sure she is also looking for love and dating, but she's often forgotten, shoved under the rug, "closested" if you will. The first few seasons, the stylists for the show made Miranda look like the biggest cliche of a lesbian ever. They desexualized her through her hair, make up, and wardrobe. However, while the least glamorous, she's one of the most truthful characters ever featured on the show. She has a love hate relationship with men, she decides she doesn't need a man for her to keep her child (see Knocked Up) and while she does eventually get with Steve, it's not because she feels she HAS to get married or have a man, it's because she wants to and loves him. I might also be biased based on the episode where she gets upset that Steve (i think it was Steve) wants to cuddle and falls asleep on her pillow. Honestly, I can share blankets, I can share bed (I have two younger sisters I had to share hotel beds with on vacations so I'm used to that), but give me my damn pillows or I'll shove you off the bed.

To wrap this up, I refuse to see the movie. I really do. I don't think they needed to make a movie out of it, I think the series was more than enough, and if they make a sequel I may have to kick someone. I'm not saying everyone should avoid this movie (as it's impossible since most my friends already have), but I will not see it in the movie theaters. Perhaps, later, on a plane, or at a friends I could be convinced to see it (see 27 Dresses), but until it's free for me don't even bother. And even then, be prepared for a struggle.

Piece of advcie for high school graduation speakers...

No one will remember anything you say. Honestly. Please don't try to come up with something your peers will remember, because a year later most will hardly remember you were even a speaker.

Don't try to impart wisdom on your fellow students. You're all 17-19 years old. You don't know anything about life at this moment. You've never lived on your own and you know what? You're all reaching that point together, so you can't give any better advice than the next person. So please, do me a favor and don't try to give advice about the future. No one knows anything about the future, we can only relate to the past, so please...

Just talk about your time there, what you did, what your friends did, if it was fun, if it wasn't. Talk about your plans for the fall, tell them that in four years they can check up with you and see what you're really doing. If you're following your dream or plan, or if you've completely changed.

Don't plan your life out either! Don't make your future rigid and set in stone. Enjoy the curve balls life will give. You might not end up with the career you think you want, you might not end up with the major you're interested in.

Just talk about your time there, that you're ready for the next step and you're excited for it.

But honestly, no one will remember your speech.

27 Dresses

I'm currently stateside as of last Friday thanks to a wedding and a graduation only a week apart. In honor of the wedding, and the 9 hour flight from Amsterdam to Minneapolis I decided to watch 27 Dresses.

Let me start by saying I refuse to see Knocked Up. I don't have anything against anyone involved with the film (except for Heigel but more on that later) but the whole idea of the film just offended me. This woman, with a blossoming career, sleeps with a stoner (and not a productive stoner as that is possible but a loser stoner), winds up pregnant, and decides to try to have a relationship with this man-child. When the local KC radio DJs are bitching about how stupid this woman is, you really have to take note. It's one thing to decide to let the man be involved with his spawn. That's fine. But to force yourself into a relationship because of old ideals that every child has to have a mother and father together is just silly. Why can't a woman raise a child on her own? That's one of the few parts I actually liked in Juno, that Jennifer Gardner's character decided she didn't need her husband to raise the child--that she could do it herself.

Anyway, loser guys getting awesome chicks just annoys me (see Superbad as well). The next thing is Katherine Heigel saying AFTER the movie is a big hit that "yeah it's kind of sexist" (not a direct quote there) and that the portrayal of her character is horrible etc when only a few months before she was saying how AWESOME the movie was and how great the characters, script, etc were. It wasn't until people said it was setting women back 5 decades that she changed her mind. I'm NOT a fan of hypocrites. Especially those who cave to peer pressure so easily.

So come this spring, 27 Dresses comes out and I boycott it as well. It looks just as horrible: a woman in love with her boss who falls for her younger sister, yet James Marsden comes in and finally wins her over. Boring, predictable clichés + Katherine Heigel, who was still on my shit list from Knocked Up = another boycott.

I was doing a great job until the 9 hour plane ride. I had a choice of a bunch of movies, I watched The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (I'll talk about this more later), The Emperor's New Groove, and was starting Juno when I decided I really didn't want to see it again. It's not a bad movie, but one viewing of an overly zealous hipster film was enough for me. So I decided to put on 27 dresses and if I fell asleep kudos to me! Well, I didn't fall asleep, instead I watched the whole thing, and it was worse than I thought!

I love weddings, I really do, I love being in them, I love getting dressed up, I love dancing, I love champagne. I can understand why a woman would want to be in 27 weddings. I already have been involved as a bridesmaid three times, a flower girl once, in charge of the guest book once and been invited to plenty others. I'm all for that, but this woman devotes her every waking minute to it. A bit pathetic and not only that, but she keeps clippings from the wedding section of the newspaper. Whatever, to each their own, but the fact that she lives through other people's weddings while pining over her boss is just down right sad and archaic. All this woman thinks about is her dream wedding and that her life won't be complete until then, yet she's passively waiting for the man to get the ball rolling. I mean, if you love weddings and want them to be so awesome why don't you become a wedding planner? At least make a career out of it instead of a hobby.

On top of this, her actual "friends" consist of her alcoholic, slutty co-worker, the goth office secretary, and her sister who lies about everything from her love to animals and vegetarianism to the fact that she hires his "little brother" to be her maid. Supposedly, these 27 married women are her friends too, but does she ever actually interact with them? No. Okay, the movie starts with her attending two weddings on the same evening at the same time so she does talk to those women briefly in the opening sequence, but after that we don't see any of these women until her wedding at the end (OH COME ON!!! You KNEW she had to get hitched at the end).

Back to my point, all the women in this film are disgusting. Either they lie and hide their real selves in order to secure a man, they'll drunkenly sleep with anyone, or they are obsessed with planning their perfect wedding even when she doesn't have a significant other in her life. Wow, so realistic all of them! What are we in the 1950s?

If the women in the film weren't bad enough, let me point out how nearly every single scene is a rip off of other movies. For example, the "Benny and the Jets" bar scene reminds me of Runaway Bride when Richard Gere and Julia Roberts begin to fall in love and they're in a bar and then hopping over wood fences or whatever. Anyway, it's fun playing what-movie-is-this-scene-from? Honestly, makes the overall film see a bit more surprising.

I can't even try to rate anything this unoriginal. I would say maybe a D+ if we were going by that rating system. There are a few funny moments, the horrible bridesmaid dresses are pretty awesome, and James Marsden is just too damn cute in everything with a gorgeous singing voice to boot that makes up for his predictable character.

Overall, I think Katherine Heigel should really stick to the small screen. At least on Grey's she has some balls and an interesting character. I've enjoyed her since the Disney Channel Original Movie (DCOM for those in the know) Wish Upon a Star and honestly would love to see her in more movies, but I just wish she would find scripts that weren't written 40 years ago!