No one will remember anything you say. Honestly. Please don't try to come up with something your peers will remember, because a year later most will hardly remember you were even a speaker.
Don't try to impart wisdom on your fellow students. You're all 17-19 years old. You don't know anything about life at this moment. You've never lived on your own and you know what? You're all reaching that point together, so you can't give any better advice than the next person. So please, do me a favor and don't try to give advice about the future. No one knows anything about the future, we can only relate to the past, so please...
Just talk about your time there, what you did, what your friends did, if it was fun, if it wasn't. Talk about your plans for the fall, tell them that in four years they can check up with you and see what you're really doing. If you're following your dream or plan, or if you've completely changed.
Don't plan your life out either! Don't make your future rigid and set in stone. Enjoy the curve balls life will give. You might not end up with the career you think you want, you might not end up with the major you're interested in.
Just talk about your time there, that you're ready for the next step and you're excited for it.
But honestly, no one will remember your speech.
Friday, 16 May 2008
27 Dresses
I'm currently stateside as of last Friday thanks to a wedding and a graduation only a week apart. In honor of the wedding, and the 9 hour flight from Amsterdam to Minneapolis I decided to watch 27 Dresses.
Let me start by saying I refuse to see Knocked Up. I don't have anything against anyone involved with the film (except for Heigel but more on that later) but the whole idea of the film just offended me. This woman, with a blossoming career, sleeps with a stoner (and not a productive stoner as that is possible but a loser stoner), winds up pregnant, and decides to try to have a relationship with this man-child. When the local KC radio DJs are bitching about how stupid this woman is, you really have to take note. It's one thing to decide to let the man be involved with his spawn. That's fine. But to force yourself into a relationship because of old ideals that every child has to have a mother and father together is just silly. Why can't a woman raise a child on her own? That's one of the few parts I actually liked in Juno, that Jennifer Gardner's character decided she didn't need her husband to raise the child--that she could do it herself.
Anyway, loser guys getting awesome chicks just annoys me (see Superbad as well). The next thing is Katherine Heigel saying AFTER the movie is a big hit that "yeah it's kind of sexist" (not a direct quote there) and that the portrayal of her character is horrible etc when only a few months before she was saying how AWESOME the movie was and how great the characters, script, etc were. It wasn't until people said it was setting women back 5 decades that she changed her mind. I'm NOT a fan of hypocrites. Especially those who cave to peer pressure so easily.
So come this spring, 27 Dresses comes out and I boycott it as well. It looks just as horrible: a woman in love with her boss who falls for her younger sister, yet James Marsden comes in and finally wins her over. Boring, predictable clichés + Katherine Heigel, who was still on my shit list from Knocked Up = another boycott.
I was doing a great job until the 9 hour plane ride. I had a choice of a bunch of movies, I watched The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (I'll talk about this more later), The Emperor's New Groove, and was starting Juno when I decided I really didn't want to see it again. It's not a bad movie, but one viewing of an overly zealous hipster film was enough for me. So I decided to put on 27 dresses and if I fell asleep kudos to me! Well, I didn't fall asleep, instead I watched the whole thing, and it was worse than I thought!
I love weddings, I really do, I love being in them, I love getting dressed up, I love dancing, I love champagne. I can understand why a woman would want to be in 27 weddings. I already have been involved as a bridesmaid three times, a flower girl once, in charge of the guest book once and been invited to plenty others. I'm all for that, but this woman devotes her every waking minute to it. A bit pathetic and not only that, but she keeps clippings from the wedding section of the newspaper. Whatever, to each their own, but the fact that she lives through other people's weddings while pining over her boss is just down right sad and archaic. All this woman thinks about is her dream wedding and that her life won't be complete until then, yet she's passively waiting for the man to get the ball rolling. I mean, if you love weddings and want them to be so awesome why don't you become a wedding planner? At least make a career out of it instead of a hobby.
On top of this, her actual "friends" consist of her alcoholic, slutty co-worker, the goth office secretary, and her sister who lies about everything from her love to animals and vegetarianism to the fact that she hires his "little brother" to be her maid. Supposedly, these 27 married women are her friends too, but does she ever actually interact with them? No. Okay, the movie starts with her attending two weddings on the same evening at the same time so she does talk to those women briefly in the opening sequence, but after that we don't see any of these women until her wedding at the end (OH COME ON!!! You KNEW she had to get hitched at the end).
Back to my point, all the women in this film are disgusting. Either they lie and hide their real selves in order to secure a man, they'll drunkenly sleep with anyone, or they are obsessed with planning their perfect wedding even when she doesn't have a significant other in her life. Wow, so realistic all of them! What are we in the 1950s?
If the women in the film weren't bad enough, let me point out how nearly every single scene is a rip off of other movies. For example, the "Benny and the Jets" bar scene reminds me of Runaway Bride when Richard Gere and Julia Roberts begin to fall in love and they're in a bar and then hopping over wood fences or whatever. Anyway, it's fun playing what-movie-is-this-scene-from? Honestly, makes the overall film see a bit more surprising.
I can't even try to rate anything this unoriginal. I would say maybe a D+ if we were going by that rating system. There are a few funny moments, the horrible bridesmaid dresses are pretty awesome, and James Marsden is just too damn cute in everything with a gorgeous singing voice to boot that makes up for his predictable character.
Overall, I think Katherine Heigel should really stick to the small screen. At least on Grey's she has some balls and an interesting character. I've enjoyed her since the Disney Channel Original Movie (DCOM for those in the know) Wish Upon a Star and honestly would love to see her in more movies, but I just wish she would find scripts that weren't written 40 years ago!
Let me start by saying I refuse to see Knocked Up. I don't have anything against anyone involved with the film (except for Heigel but more on that later) but the whole idea of the film just offended me. This woman, with a blossoming career, sleeps with a stoner (and not a productive stoner as that is possible but a loser stoner), winds up pregnant, and decides to try to have a relationship with this man-child. When the local KC radio DJs are bitching about how stupid this woman is, you really have to take note. It's one thing to decide to let the man be involved with his spawn. That's fine. But to force yourself into a relationship because of old ideals that every child has to have a mother and father together is just silly. Why can't a woman raise a child on her own? That's one of the few parts I actually liked in Juno, that Jennifer Gardner's character decided she didn't need her husband to raise the child--that she could do it herself.
Anyway, loser guys getting awesome chicks just annoys me (see Superbad as well). The next thing is Katherine Heigel saying AFTER the movie is a big hit that "yeah it's kind of sexist" (not a direct quote there) and that the portrayal of her character is horrible etc when only a few months before she was saying how AWESOME the movie was and how great the characters, script, etc were. It wasn't until people said it was setting women back 5 decades that she changed her mind. I'm NOT a fan of hypocrites. Especially those who cave to peer pressure so easily.
So come this spring, 27 Dresses comes out and I boycott it as well. It looks just as horrible: a woman in love with her boss who falls for her younger sister, yet James Marsden comes in and finally wins her over. Boring, predictable clichés + Katherine Heigel, who was still on my shit list from Knocked Up = another boycott.
I was doing a great job until the 9 hour plane ride. I had a choice of a bunch of movies, I watched The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (I'll talk about this more later), The Emperor's New Groove, and was starting Juno when I decided I really didn't want to see it again. It's not a bad movie, but one viewing of an overly zealous hipster film was enough for me. So I decided to put on 27 dresses and if I fell asleep kudos to me! Well, I didn't fall asleep, instead I watched the whole thing, and it was worse than I thought!
I love weddings, I really do, I love being in them, I love getting dressed up, I love dancing, I love champagne. I can understand why a woman would want to be in 27 weddings. I already have been involved as a bridesmaid three times, a flower girl once, in charge of the guest book once and been invited to plenty others. I'm all for that, but this woman devotes her every waking minute to it. A bit pathetic and not only that, but she keeps clippings from the wedding section of the newspaper. Whatever, to each their own, but the fact that she lives through other people's weddings while pining over her boss is just down right sad and archaic. All this woman thinks about is her dream wedding and that her life won't be complete until then, yet she's passively waiting for the man to get the ball rolling. I mean, if you love weddings and want them to be so awesome why don't you become a wedding planner? At least make a career out of it instead of a hobby.
On top of this, her actual "friends" consist of her alcoholic, slutty co-worker, the goth office secretary, and her sister who lies about everything from her love to animals and vegetarianism to the fact that she hires his "little brother" to be her maid. Supposedly, these 27 married women are her friends too, but does she ever actually interact with them? No. Okay, the movie starts with her attending two weddings on the same evening at the same time so she does talk to those women briefly in the opening sequence, but after that we don't see any of these women until her wedding at the end (OH COME ON!!! You KNEW she had to get hitched at the end).
Back to my point, all the women in this film are disgusting. Either they lie and hide their real selves in order to secure a man, they'll drunkenly sleep with anyone, or they are obsessed with planning their perfect wedding even when she doesn't have a significant other in her life. Wow, so realistic all of them! What are we in the 1950s?
If the women in the film weren't bad enough, let me point out how nearly every single scene is a rip off of other movies. For example, the "Benny and the Jets" bar scene reminds me of Runaway Bride when Richard Gere and Julia Roberts begin to fall in love and they're in a bar and then hopping over wood fences or whatever. Anyway, it's fun playing what-movie-is-this-scene-from? Honestly, makes the overall film see a bit more surprising.
I can't even try to rate anything this unoriginal. I would say maybe a D+ if we were going by that rating system. There are a few funny moments, the horrible bridesmaid dresses are pretty awesome, and James Marsden is just too damn cute in everything with a gorgeous singing voice to boot that makes up for his predictable character.
Overall, I think Katherine Heigel should really stick to the small screen. At least on Grey's she has some balls and an interesting character. I've enjoyed her since the Disney Channel Original Movie (DCOM for those in the know) Wish Upon a Star and honestly would love to see her in more movies, but I just wish she would find scripts that weren't written 40 years ago!
a mental mind fuck can be nice
It's been awhile since my last post on here, but this is the first thing I've really felt like blogging about.
Britney Spears, her father, and Mel Gibson are vacationing together at Mel's Costa Rican home.
SAY WHAT?
For those who don't really know me, I used to be a big fan of Mel's films. Like crazy fanatic. Fo shiz. I've seen every movie of his at least once, except for Apocalypto. After Passion of the Christ I kind of lost interest, and after his drunken neo-nazi rant I just gave up hope. The one thing the man is a genius for is having his own production company: Icon. No matter what he is loaded enough to produce his own works for the rest of his life. Good idea since it doesn't seem many others want to work with him. The best part of his drunk driving incident was the fact that he said he had to knock a few back that morning before telling his kids he was arrested for driving DRUNK. How much more ridiculous can a man get?
Apparently much, much more.
We all know of Britney's meltdown that's lasted how many years now? I think we're going on four years... wasn't it 2004 when she married K.Fed? Anyway, the point is both of these celebrities have had some major public meltdowns. Some more offensive (Mel), some more dramatic (Britney's hair, britney's umbrella attack, britney's holding her kids hostage, et all) and the idea of putting them together is causing my mind to melt.
I don't know what's going on, I would assume a good catholic such as Mel wouldn't be getting jiggy with a girl roughly his children's ages but that hasn't stopped powerful men (or those lacking any power) from doing it before. I would also hope that they wouldn't be gettin' jiggy with her father there, but who knows perhaps they'll all join in.
I'm assuming that Mel in a true Christian fashion is trying to help the poor little lost Britney get her life back together. Recently, he and his wife have been "counseling" her and he helped put Robert Downey, Jr back into rehab in the 90s (of course we all know how that sobriety didn't last long) and even bought him a motorcycle to celebrate one of the times he got out. However, does the idea of Mel who's had a pretty big emotional break down of sorts helping Britney with her pretty big emotional break down of sorts sound just a bit whack?
There is no word whether or not Mel's family is joining them, just that her kids aren't allowed out of the country but no one knows if they're with her or not. I would assume Mel and Jamie Spears would be smart enough to not bring the babies with them.
My mind has officially exploded with the idea of these two helping one another let alone vacationing together.
Britney Spears, her father, and Mel Gibson are vacationing together at Mel's Costa Rican home.
SAY WHAT?
For those who don't really know me, I used to be a big fan of Mel's films. Like crazy fanatic. Fo shiz. I've seen every movie of his at least once, except for Apocalypto. After Passion of the Christ I kind of lost interest, and after his drunken neo-nazi rant I just gave up hope. The one thing the man is a genius for is having his own production company: Icon. No matter what he is loaded enough to produce his own works for the rest of his life. Good idea since it doesn't seem many others want to work with him. The best part of his drunk driving incident was the fact that he said he had to knock a few back that morning before telling his kids he was arrested for driving DRUNK. How much more ridiculous can a man get?
Apparently much, much more.
We all know of Britney's meltdown that's lasted how many years now? I think we're going on four years... wasn't it 2004 when she married K.Fed? Anyway, the point is both of these celebrities have had some major public meltdowns. Some more offensive (Mel), some more dramatic (Britney's hair, britney's umbrella attack, britney's holding her kids hostage, et all) and the idea of putting them together is causing my mind to melt.
I don't know what's going on, I would assume a good catholic such as Mel wouldn't be getting jiggy with a girl roughly his children's ages but that hasn't stopped powerful men (or those lacking any power) from doing it before. I would also hope that they wouldn't be gettin' jiggy with her father there, but who knows perhaps they'll all join in.
I'm assuming that Mel in a true Christian fashion is trying to help the poor little lost Britney get her life back together. Recently, he and his wife have been "counseling" her and he helped put Robert Downey, Jr back into rehab in the 90s (of course we all know how that sobriety didn't last long) and even bought him a motorcycle to celebrate one of the times he got out. However, does the idea of Mel who's had a pretty big emotional break down of sorts helping Britney with her pretty big emotional break down of sorts sound just a bit whack?
There is no word whether or not Mel's family is joining them, just that her kids aren't allowed out of the country but no one knows if they're with her or not. I would assume Mel and Jamie Spears would be smart enough to not bring the babies with them.
My mind has officially exploded with the idea of these two helping one another let alone vacationing together.
Wednesday, 26 March 2008
American Idle
One great thing that came out of the writer's strike is free credit on iTunes. Because the few shows I subscribe to (Bones and How I Met Your Mother) will be shorter due to the strike and itunes is giving me free tv show downloads to make up for it. Let's just say I went a little over board. I decided to try out some of the "new" shows out there like Samantha Who. I also downloaded a True Life where are they now episode and Engaged and Underage. Oh yes, I love me some silly MTV shows like that. What can I say. Sometimes watching someone else screw up their life just makes you feel so much better.
Anyway, for those reading this, I have some new albums on facebook from the Rugby trip to Hungary, my friends visiting from Spain, and various Karaoke experiences. Let's just say I've now done karaoke in Sweden, Scotland, Spain, the States and Hungary. Yes, I'm making the rounds. Next up Japan.
But seriously, I do love me some karaoke and luckily so does the team. Otherwise, we wouldn't haven't run everyone out of our favorite bar in Budapest and keep the KJ playing songs for 2 hours just for us to ALL sing a long to. Yeah, there was no audience except for the staff and I'm sure they were LOVING us by 3:30 in the morning. Also, lucky for me the exchange/international society kids seem to love it too and I'm becoming an expert at "Like a Virgin" and all things Britney Spears.
Anyway, for those reading this, I have some new albums on facebook from the Rugby trip to Hungary, my friends visiting from Spain, and various Karaoke experiences. Let's just say I've now done karaoke in Sweden, Scotland, Spain, the States and Hungary. Yes, I'm making the rounds. Next up Japan.
But seriously, I do love me some karaoke and luckily so does the team. Otherwise, we wouldn't haven't run everyone out of our favorite bar in Budapest and keep the KJ playing songs for 2 hours just for us to ALL sing a long to. Yeah, there was no audience except for the staff and I'm sure they were LOVING us by 3:30 in the morning. Also, lucky for me the exchange/international society kids seem to love it too and I'm becoming an expert at "Like a Virgin" and all things Britney Spears.
Friday, 7 March 2008
Film Festival Revisited
I decided I should make a quick comment about the various films I saw at the festival. Obviously, I was unable to view many of them, but here goes.
Margot at the Wedding
Mathaharis
Jezebel - A classic and pretty good, definitely a Gone with the Wind rip off, but I liked this character much better than Scarlett O'hara
Caramel - I liked how it presented the woman's stories and they're life; however, it went no where and there was very little conclusion. In fact only one woman's story really had an ending. It could have used another half hour effectively. I wonder if they just ran out of funding?
Diary of the Dead
My Blueberry Nights
The last Mistress
Teeth
XXY
You, the Living - this film was actually crazy and hilarious. It just showed vignettes of various people's lives. Reminded me of Waking Life but not animated. Very stylized however. Most characters were covered in a lighter foundation and it was very pea green with the sets. Very sparse. Very Swedish. Two Thumbs up. Loved it.
Thieves
Water Lillies - BORING! If you want to see a "coming of age" story of a teenage girl lusting over another more popular girl then just watch Fucking Åmal instead.
Priceless (Hors de Prix) - really funny. A classic romantic comedy. Reminded me of that Steve Martin/Michael Cain film that became a musical. Nothing to exciting, obviously predictable but still hilarious.
All About Eve - the wit in this film is amazing. No wonder it's a classic. Margo Channing is my new hero.
Whatever Happened to Baby Jane - I'm so glad I finally got to see this one! I loved it. So camp classic, the acting over done, the characters insane. It's now on my list of movies I should make drinking games for.
[REC]
ZOMBIE STRIPPERS - well, it was shown from a DVD. Obviously, it's straight to DVD. Jenna Jameson is the first Zombie Stripper and is scantily clad through out most of it. The film tries to comment on America, the war, Bush, society in general, but does it in a very obvious way that isn't really funny. However, the best part of the film was when the two Christians (one a stripper the other her boyfriend) are cowering in fear and the boyfriend is trying to convince his girlfriend they should lose they're virginity now. She says no so he offers options such as "I'll only put it in half way" then offers anal when half way is rejected. The most amazing line only because it's so true.
Margot at the Wedding
Mathaharis
Jezebel - A classic and pretty good, definitely a Gone with the Wind rip off, but I liked this character much better than Scarlett O'hara
Caramel - I liked how it presented the woman's stories and they're life; however, it went no where and there was very little conclusion. In fact only one woman's story really had an ending. It could have used another half hour effectively. I wonder if they just ran out of funding?
Diary of the Dead
My Blueberry Nights
The last Mistress
Teeth
XXY
You, the Living - this film was actually crazy and hilarious. It just showed vignettes of various people's lives. Reminded me of Waking Life but not animated. Very stylized however. Most characters were covered in a lighter foundation and it was very pea green with the sets. Very sparse. Very Swedish. Two Thumbs up. Loved it.
Thieves
Water Lillies - BORING! If you want to see a "coming of age" story of a teenage girl lusting over another more popular girl then just watch Fucking Åmal instead.
Priceless (Hors de Prix) - really funny. A classic romantic comedy. Reminded me of that Steve Martin/Michael Cain film that became a musical. Nothing to exciting, obviously predictable but still hilarious.
All About Eve - the wit in this film is amazing. No wonder it's a classic. Margo Channing is my new hero.
Whatever Happened to Baby Jane - I'm so glad I finally got to see this one! I loved it. So camp classic, the acting over done, the characters insane. It's now on my list of movies I should make drinking games for.
[REC]
ZOMBIE STRIPPERS - well, it was shown from a DVD. Obviously, it's straight to DVD. Jenna Jameson is the first Zombie Stripper and is scantily clad through out most of it. The film tries to comment on America, the war, Bush, society in general, but does it in a very obvious way that isn't really funny. However, the best part of the film was when the two Christians (one a stripper the other her boyfriend) are cowering in fear and the boyfriend is trying to convince his girlfriend they should lose they're virginity now. She says no so he offers options such as "I'll only put it in half way" then offers anal when half way is rejected. The most amazing line only because it's so true.
Upcoming excitment!
Last weekend I went down to London to visit Jen and see Insane in the Brain. It's a street dance ballet of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. If you have a chance to see it you must! I also got to visit with Taj for a bit and oh how I miss her. She's one of the few people from the theater department I truly miss. Also, the National East Coast Express or whatever provides a beautiful picturesque train ride through Scotland and England. My favorite part was seeing the ocean and snow in the same ride. Very beautiful.
Anyway, I have one week of classes and then I'm off for Easter Holiday/Spring Break. I'm super excited for two weeks off. I'm going to Hungary with the rugby team for a game, then my friend studying in Spain is visiting, then I'm off to Manchester to visit Christina and spend Easter with her. I believe our Easter will include dying eggs, eating candy/chocolate, and watching Slings and Arrows. Let me tell you. I absolutely LOVE this show. It's about a Canadian theater festival putting on various Shakespearean plays. It's really amazing and everyone should watch it. It's inspirational. Makes me want to do theater again.
What is it about the theater that I try to leave then get sucked back in...
The other amazing part of this Easter holiday is that I have two classes after it and I'm done with the "school" part of my program. Pretty exciting! As I'm sure I've mentioned, I only have two classes a week to begin with. Well the Czech film class is over because the professor went back to the home country for 4 weeks. REALLY? Who does that? Just leaves in the middle of term? Not really too upsetting though because that just frees up that Friday 3-6 PM time slot that was truly annoying. Now I have next Tuesday 4-5:30 then the first two Tuesdays of April and I'm done!
Anyway, I have one week of classes and then I'm off for Easter Holiday/Spring Break. I'm super excited for two weeks off. I'm going to Hungary with the rugby team for a game, then my friend studying in Spain is visiting, then I'm off to Manchester to visit Christina and spend Easter with her. I believe our Easter will include dying eggs, eating candy/chocolate, and watching Slings and Arrows. Let me tell you. I absolutely LOVE this show. It's about a Canadian theater festival putting on various Shakespearean plays. It's really amazing and everyone should watch it. It's inspirational. Makes me want to do theater again.
What is it about the theater that I try to leave then get sucked back in...
The other amazing part of this Easter holiday is that I have two classes after it and I'm done with the "school" part of my program. Pretty exciting! As I'm sure I've mentioned, I only have two classes a week to begin with. Well the Czech film class is over because the professor went back to the home country for 4 weeks. REALLY? Who does that? Just leaves in the middle of term? Not really too upsetting though because that just frees up that Friday 3-6 PM time slot that was truly annoying. Now I have next Tuesday 4-5:30 then the first two Tuesdays of April and I'm done!
Monday, 25 February 2008
Glasgow Film Fest and "the diving-bell and the butterfly"
So, I've been working the Glasgow Film Fest, and last night I got to work the VIP bar which included Andy Serkis, AKA King Kong AKA Gollum, I only spoke to him briefly, but I served him champagne and water, and got his autograph for my sister and my friend (who was there but decided he was too awkward to ask for it but then I introduced him anyway).
Everyone should go see the cottage. He's in it. he was promoting it, we had the world premiere last night (GO GFF!!!) and unfortunately, I didn't get to see it (though I've heard its amazing with some really sick humor in it including ripping someone's spinal column out!) but I did see Zombie Strippers.
It was a fun crazy week but amazing.
PS everyone should read the diving-bell and the butterfly. I feel so thankful that I didn't suffer a massive stroke or locked-in syndrome, but it's definitely a mind fuck for me. My experiences with my stroke were much more mild, but none the less scary, and though it's scary and exciting to identify with this man, it's perhaps the only book to affect me in a mix of depression, sadness, and joy.
For those who don't know the book (or the movie), Jean-Dominique Bauby was editor in chief of French Elle when he suffered a massive stroke, fell into a coma, and woke up with "locked-in syndrome" meaning his brain is intact, but unable to move, eat, breath, or speak on his own. They created a special system of blinking his left eye so he could communicate and "dictate" this book.
As I said, I'm thankful I suffered an extremely mild stroke, but I'm an emotional masochist. I wanted to read this book because I wanted to see how he described his stroke. It also took me two days to gather the courage to read those 5 pages. I wanted to know what his was like, and I want to see the movie for this same reason, though I've already insisted I must bring a friend with me because I still haven't watched the episode in House I was watching that night featuring a woman who has a stroke.
I find it depressing in some ways that a man with such limited communication can write about his experience so much more eloquently than I can. At one point he simply describes his face feeling like parchment as he received a massage. It wasn't because it was dry, but because of the mixed signals in his brain. Just that little bit made me cry, because that was the word I was searching for in the hospital: parchment. That's what my body felt like to my left hand. That this man could describe this sensation with blinking, better than I could just proves how amazing this book is.
There's a line in it that really stood out to me: "Henceforth my life is divided between those who knew me before and all the others." Though I might not appear any different, I am. I'm much more wary about my health, I worry more. I don't lock my door in case I have another one, though I worry that I won't be able to scream for help next time. I worry about being alone. I'm scared of flying, though I know with blood thinners I'm better off than most on the plane. I also carry a giant bag with me every where I go. This bag contains all my pills and my blood thinner book in case I'm rushed unconscious to the hospital they will know my dosage. I also make sure that even if my room is a mess, it's all pushed to the sides in case paramedics rush in again. My life is defined now as pre and post stroke just because that's what it is and it's weird knowing I'm different though others might not know it, and that I will probably divide things up like this for a long time to come.
Everyone should read it. I can't wait to see the movie, I hear it's beautiful. I plan on seeing it this week.
Everyone should go see the cottage. He's in it. he was promoting it, we had the world premiere last night (GO GFF!!!) and unfortunately, I didn't get to see it (though I've heard its amazing with some really sick humor in it including ripping someone's spinal column out!) but I did see Zombie Strippers.
It was a fun crazy week but amazing.
PS everyone should read the diving-bell and the butterfly. I feel so thankful that I didn't suffer a massive stroke or locked-in syndrome, but it's definitely a mind fuck for me. My experiences with my stroke were much more mild, but none the less scary, and though it's scary and exciting to identify with this man, it's perhaps the only book to affect me in a mix of depression, sadness, and joy.
For those who don't know the book (or the movie), Jean-Dominique Bauby was editor in chief of French Elle when he suffered a massive stroke, fell into a coma, and woke up with "locked-in syndrome" meaning his brain is intact, but unable to move, eat, breath, or speak on his own. They created a special system of blinking his left eye so he could communicate and "dictate" this book.
As I said, I'm thankful I suffered an extremely mild stroke, but I'm an emotional masochist. I wanted to read this book because I wanted to see how he described his stroke. It also took me two days to gather the courage to read those 5 pages. I wanted to know what his was like, and I want to see the movie for this same reason, though I've already insisted I must bring a friend with me because I still haven't watched the episode in House I was watching that night featuring a woman who has a stroke.
I find it depressing in some ways that a man with such limited communication can write about his experience so much more eloquently than I can. At one point he simply describes his face feeling like parchment as he received a massage. It wasn't because it was dry, but because of the mixed signals in his brain. Just that little bit made me cry, because that was the word I was searching for in the hospital: parchment. That's what my body felt like to my left hand. That this man could describe this sensation with blinking, better than I could just proves how amazing this book is.
There's a line in it that really stood out to me: "Henceforth my life is divided between those who knew me before and all the others." Though I might not appear any different, I am. I'm much more wary about my health, I worry more. I don't lock my door in case I have another one, though I worry that I won't be able to scream for help next time. I worry about being alone. I'm scared of flying, though I know with blood thinners I'm better off than most on the plane. I also carry a giant bag with me every where I go. This bag contains all my pills and my blood thinner book in case I'm rushed unconscious to the hospital they will know my dosage. I also make sure that even if my room is a mess, it's all pushed to the sides in case paramedics rush in again. My life is defined now as pre and post stroke just because that's what it is and it's weird knowing I'm different though others might not know it, and that I will probably divide things up like this for a long time to come.
Everyone should read it. I can't wait to see the movie, I hear it's beautiful. I plan on seeing it this week.
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