silly note

its kind of funny to look at the posts pre hospital and post hospital. i'll have to start finding more men in kilts to cheer this blog up.

they say everything changes

It's been nearly three weeks since my stroke and last week was my first week back in class and only the second week i've been to since it started at the end of September. Let me discuss last tuesday. let me discuss how i now hate tuesdays in general. not only was i rushed to the ER twice on a tuesday, but last tuesday may have been one of most not so good days i've had in awhile (aside from the tuesday two weeks before that). I met up with my friend Lilly for lunch at the Subway in the GU--that part was okay aside from the fact that i'm exhausted all the time and the littlest things tire me. I learned later not only is that a result of the stroke but of the blood thinners as well. Lucky me. So I get to class and i'm already tired (mind you, the uni is atop a hill very much like the one at Oxy so it's already a trek before you add the fact i'm still recovering) and my head hurts. I take a paracetemol and manage to get through the 90 minute class but I'm dreading the 20 minute walk back (downhill is the plus side). I stop back at the GU to pick up some highlighters and pens (since the pens i stole from hotels years ago). Head home, stop at the corner store for some basic groceries, realize i can't be arsed to cook and pick up a sandwhich get to my flat and realize i've lost my keys. Thus begins the frantic search of my bag, the take away place, my bag again, the corner store, and my bag a third time. I call my flat mate who lets me. I eat my sandwhich then empty out the contents of my bag completely then head out to retrace all my steps back to class. Well, the damn key is gone and being tired, not feeling well, and really annoyed i go back to my room and call it a day. Then I find information on strokes and blood clots and realize just how serious it was and that i could have died. Let the emotional break down begin.

so i ended up curled up in a ball crying on tuesday debating if i was going to stay or go.

since then things have been better (aside from the fact that the laundry room shuts off for an hour or two in the middle of the night and with the clocks changing last night i couldn't get my clothes out of the washer until this morning) and i think i'm going to stay.

Speaking of laundry: i miss what i called the magic drying rooms in sweden. It was a giant room with a hot air fan and clothes line. Brillant! You hang your clothes up and they dry so nicely and pretty quickly. The swedes might actually do everything better.

Thursday I may have stumbled on a dissertation topic involving fellini and ther american movie musical genre. I have bought a collection of his films (8 1/2, juliet of the spirits, la dolce vita, and another one i keep forgeting) to see if i can really do this topic. I also bought belle de jour, and the blue angel (blue angel being for class this week and highly reccomended by Lilly) and belle de jour because borders was having a special offer and i love catherine!

before i ended this rather long post, i would like to add that the scottish have a very different idea of a farmer than Americans. They involved lots of plaid hats like grandfathers or golfers wear, giant rain boots/wellies, and coveralls like mechanics would wear. Hello? what about cowboy boots and hats?

Change...

the whole sordid truth.

I was just released from the hospital so i feel like i should give you a full blown update.

what happened: after a migraine for two days i woke up to find my left side numb. My flatmate and i went to the hospital they said that it was probably viral menengitis, would give me some medicine/painkillers and forget about the lumbar puncture for now.

i went home and with in an hour woke up from my nap spasming and yelling for my flatmates to help. one called 999 the other tried to get me to respond. she said i was stiff unresponsive and my pupils were huge and i sounded like i was gagging/snoring while i was breathing.

paramedics came, they thought i was a) american and therefore stupid, b) a college student and therefore stupid, and c) i must have OD'ed on the "drugs" in my room (aka my zoloft for anxiety which if i was going to try to get fucked up i would have found something else to do it with mind you). So they try to do some tests on me at the hospital, move me from ward to ward until friday they move me to another hospital with a neurology ward and acute stroke unit. with in 12 hours of arriving they diagnosis that i had a blood clot near my brain, a stroke, and will be on blood thinners for 6-12 months.

what caused it: no specific reason but it could be a number of things. could be the concussion i had in the spring. a new head injury from rugby practice or the 10 minutes of the game i played when sick. dehydration. exhaustion the pill etc.

what does it mean: well i have to go off the pill but onto some other bc because i am forbidden from getting pregnant while on blood thinners. of course you know i really wanted to get pregnant right now. haha. no rugby for the whole duration im on blood thinners (could be a year). have to be careful about drinking--must be in moderation. have to be careful about banging my head, bruises, etc. i have to inject a form of rat posion into me to thin my blood, and yes i'm staying here and finishing my program. i don't back down this easy.

thanks to everyone who sent messages, emails, texts, and comments. it really meant a lot.

on a random note: cnn just had a story America Votes 2008: Guliani prepared for alien attack?" GOOD LORD!

also if you were reading runzoo959.blogspot.com it's not being directed here. so yeah.